The End of Faking It Page 7

  Misery.

  Absolute misery.

  And she was trying too hard, her smile about to crack. He shot a glance at Matt to see if he’d registered Penny’s sudden brittleness.

  Yes, he had. He had the same dark eyes as his sister only now they were even blacker and fiercely focused on her.

  She clung on—just—all smile and another polite question. But the façade was as fragile as fine-spun glass. He felt the pressing edge of the knife, waiting for it to slice and shatter.

  ‘You okay?’ Her brother ignored her irrelevant question and asked her straight out.

  Her lashes lowered and the pretence fell with them. She didn’t look at either of them. Carter slung his arm across the back of her chair. She needed a moment of support and that was why he was here. And he wasn’t inhuman; his innards twisted at the sight of her.

  ‘Of course,’ Penny answered, so brightly it was like staring straight into a garish neon light. ‘I’m having dessert. Are you?’

  She waved the nearest waiter over and ordered the triple chocolate mousse.

  ‘Excuse me for a moment.’ Under cover of the stranger’s presence, Matt escaped the underlying tension, shooting a look at Carter as he did.

  Penny sat back in her seat after he’d gone and Carter twisted in his to look at her properly. She was even paler now and in her lap her fingers visibly shook. Her mouth parted as if she was working harder to get air into her lungs. Full lips that he knew were soft and that clung to his in a way that made his gut crunch with desire.

  She looked terrified. Carter knew there was a big part of this picture that he was missing. But he’d get to that. All that mattered now was bringing her back—bringing back the sparkle, the fight and fire, the gleaming promise that usually filled her.

  ‘Penny?’ He slid his arm from the back of her chair to around her shoulder. Barely any pressure but she turned in to him. Her chin lifted and he saw the stark expression in her eyes.

  ‘You okay?’ he muttered as he moved closer. It was pure instinct, the need to protect. To reassure. To make it better.

  He couldn’t not kiss her.

  For a moment she did nothing, as if she was stunned by the touch. But then she kissed him back. Her mouth was so hungry. But then her hunger changed, the tenor of her trembling changed. It wasn’t distress any more but need. Her hands clutched his shoulders, pressing him nearer. He wanted to haul her closer still, wanted to curse the fact they were in such a public place.

  Her hands tightened round the back of his neck, her fingers curling into his hair. Her breasts pressed against his chest. He wanted to peel her top from her, he wanted to see her as well as feel her. He wanted to touch her all over. He was wearing only a tee shirt and that was too much. He wanted her hands to slide beneath it; he wanted them to slide down his body.

  Instead he had to pull back and he had to pull back now.

  She didn’t move. But her gaze had sharpened, focused. Colour had returned to her cheeks and her lips were redder than they’d been seconds before. She breathed out; he felt the flexing of her shoulders—as if she was shrugging off whatever the burden had been.

  Just like that she was back to her perfect image. As if that moment of terror had never happened. As if that shattering kiss hadn’t happened.

  Carter hadn’t felt so rattled in all his life.

  There was only one way to deal with it. There was no going back now. In truth there’d been no going back from the moment he’d laid eyes on her. He’d be her lover for real. He’d see her flushed and on fire and alive. And for someone who’d said kissing in public was rude, exclusive behaviour, she’d been doing pretty well.

  Matt noisily returned to his seat and lifted the carafe of water, not meeting Carter’s eyes but refilling everyone’s glasses as if they all needed cooling down. Carter sure as hell did.

  A couple of minutes later Carter was surprised to witness Penny enthusiastically tucking into the chocolate mousse. He’d thought she didn’t like chocolate. He thought she worked hard to maintain her figure.

  He looked up and saw Matt watching her with wide eyes too. And then Matt looked across at Carter and grinned, the vestige of a wink thrown in. As if he was completely pleased to see his sister putting it away like that.

  But because she was so busy dealing with the rich goo, it was down to Carter and Matt to pick up the conversation. Carter darted a suspicious look at Penny. Yeah, she was spinning out the way she was swallowing that stuff—and actually taking the tiniest of forkfuls. In fact he figured she was totally faking her enjoyment of the stuff. Good actress, and calculating minx. But he played along, keeping the conversation safe and saving his questions for later when they were alone.

  Only she foiled him.

  ‘Matt can give me a ride home,’ she said brightly after Carter had dealt with the bill. ‘He wanted to see my flat, remember? And you had to work on those files—you don’t want to be too behind tomorrow.’

  Carter tried not to bare his teeth as he grinned his way through acquiescing. He’d been neatly set to the side. But he’d extract a little price of his own.

  As Matt went forward to request a taxi Carter pulled her into his arms, so close her body was squashed right up against his. Not as close as he wanted, but it was better than nothing. And as he was staring down the barrel of a night of nothing, he needed a little sweetener. He kissed her, softly, until she opened up for him. Then he slipped his hand up discreetly, quickly rubbing a thumb across her breast. He knew exactly how sensitive she was there. Sure enough he felt her instant spasm, her mouth instinctively parting more on a gasp. But he couldn’t take advantage and go deeper. Reluctantly he relinquished his hold on her.

  All the wicked thoughts that were tumbling in his head multiplied as he saw her flush and angry sparkle. Yes, it was going to be mind-blowing. But not soon enough.

  ‘Great to meet you, Carter.’ Matt walked back from the taxi rank, extending a hand and a bright smile.

  So protective little bro wasn’t going to throw any punches despite seeing Carter paw his sister? Carter felt smug. He must have the approval, then—on that score at least the night was a success. And he’d claim his reward—tomorrow.

  Penny loved her brother but there was only so much she could handle. She yawned and pleaded tiredness. He seemed to understand, getting the taxi to wait while he did a lightning inspection of her flat so he could report back to the parents when he got home.

  She stood in her doorway to see him off, thinking she’d got away with the last ten minutes with her nerves intact. Only he turned back, one leg in the taxi already. ‘I’m sorry if mentioning Isabelle upset you.’

  ‘Oh, no.’ Penny shook her head, swallowing quickly to stop her throat tightening up too much. ‘It was so great to see you, Matt. It was a really nice night.’

  Aside from that one moment.

  ‘You should come home and visit,’ he said, suddenly awkward and emotional. ‘You should bring Carter.’

  Her throat thickened and tears stung her eyes. Blinking hard, she nodded and stepped back indoors.

  Isabelle was Dan’s twin and Penny’s best friend from age one to seventeen. They’d been closer than sisters. They’d joked about becoming sisters for real when Penny and Dan had gotten together. But then that relationship changed everything—and every other for Penny.

  For her, the impact was always there—a weight she carried and could never be relieved of. That was okay, because, as much as she didn’t like to think of it, she also never wanted to forget. And her burden was nothing on Isabelle’s, or Dan’s mother’s or his father’s.

  For so many reasons, Dan’s death was the defining moment of her life. The experience and subsequent aftermath were the bases from which she made all her decisions. She wasn’t being hurt like that again. More importantly she wasn’t hurting anyone else either.

  Now she knew life was for living—she would travel, experience and see the world. And always keep her distance.

  And
that meant distance from Carter too. Especially him.

  CHAPTER SIX

  ‘SLEEP well?’ Carter stopped by her desk.

  ‘Sure,’ Penny lied.

  ‘I didn’t either,’ he said, eyes twinkling. ‘And I blame you for that.’

  She didn’t rise to his teasing banter. It wasn’t entirely because of the memories that had been stirred last night—her instincts had been warning her off Carter from the moment she’d first seen him. She needed to listen to them. He meant danger—not the physical kind, like when she’d thought he was some psycho attacker, but a danger to her head, hormones and heart.

  In short, he messed up all her insides.

  If she thought she could control it, it would be fine. But she couldn’t. Carter wouldn’t ever cede dominance and he sought total response. That was fair enough, but it wasn’t something she could give.

  She wanted to run. That was her usual answer to everything. Only she couldn’t. She’d let Mason down if she did and he’d been so good to her and he had troubles enough. He didn’t deserve more disloyalty or seeing people flee what could be a sinking ship. If investors got any hint of trouble they might stop the money flow. And in the current economic climate, that was bad news for even the most ancient, venerable financial institution.

  So she was stuck here for another month or so. And Carter was only here for a week more. Once he was gone she’d be okay again. She could be strong and stick it out—of course she could.

  ‘What, now I’ve helped you out with your brother you’re ignoring me?’ Carter bent and eyeballed her.

  ‘I just think it’s better if we keep this on a professional level.’

  ‘Honey, we’ve never been professional with each other.’

  ‘We’re adults, Carter. We can try.’ To prove the point, she glanced at him very briefly and offered a tight smile. Then she went straight back to her computer screen.

  ‘Why do women always have to play games?’ He sighed. ‘Blow hot, blow cold.’ The amusement in his voice shouted out his disbelief. ‘If I kissed you now, you’d be ten seconds to yes.’

  ‘I’m not playing, Carter,’ she said frostily.

  He laughed aloud at that.

  But she didn’t see him again the rest of the day. She worked late, ignoring the lump in her throat and the disappointment that he’d taken her at her word. Slowly the office emptied but she couldn’t relax. She really wanted a swim—alone, which meant after hours. It was the only way she could think to ease the aches her muscles had earned from holding her urges in all day.

  Jed was on duty tonight so she was in luck. She grabbed her gym bag from her cupboard. She’d log off her computer and collect her purse and jacket later; right now she just wanted to dive into the cool water.

  She went via his security station to let him know.

  ‘I shouldn’t be that long.’ She smiled at the guard. ‘Half an hour tops.’

  ‘Sure. I’ll lock up in forty, then.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  She changed in the small women’s room. Kicking the bag under the bench, she took her towel out poolside.

  She dived in. The cool water felt fantastic on her hot skin. She stretched out and floated on her back for a while, closing her tired, scratchy eyes. Then she pulled her goggles down and did several lengths. It took longer than usual to get into the rhythm, longer still to try to settle her mind. She was so tired yet she had so much painful energy she didn’t quite know what to do with herself—but this wasn’t working. Finally she stopped and trod water at the deep end—furthest from the door. Damn it, she’d get dressed and go dancing instead.

  She pulled herself up out of the water and turned to reach for her towel. Only someone was there reaching for her instead. Someone who pulled her fast into hot, strong arms. And as she thudded against the wall of masculinity the shrieking fear transformed into sick relief.

  ‘Why do you always have to sneak up on people?’ She tried to yell at Carter but it came out like a strangled whisper, her throat all tight with terror.

  ‘Sorry.’ His hands smoothed over her shoulders, gently rubbing away her trembles. ‘I didn’t mean to scare you.’ He looked back down at the dim room. ‘You’re not supposed to be in here.’

  ‘Neither are you,’ she snapped. ‘Why are you here?’

  ‘Isn’t it obvious? I’m looking for you. Why are you here?’

  ‘Isn’t it obvious?’ She was swimming, for heaven’s sake. She was trying to work him out of her system by exhausting herself.

  His grip tightened and he pulled her closer. Her senses were swimming even crazier now. Yeah, the work-him-out hadn’t worked.

  ‘You’re getting wet.’ She put up one last, pathetic defence.

  ‘I don’t care.’

  ‘Carter…’ she muttered as his mouth descended.

  ‘You don’t want me to kiss you?’ His lips grazed her temple. ‘To touch you? You don’t want to touch me?’

  Of course she wanted that—she ached to touch him. It was way less than ten seconds to yes.

  He laughed, pulling her dripping wet ponytail down the way he liked to, tipping her chin up to meet his mouth. But the laughter died as the kisses deepened and steam rose in its stead.

  It was as it had been that first night—a gentle tease to begin with. Until she couldn’t resist opening and he immediately went deeper, pushing for more. She lifted her hand and combed her fingers through his silky, thick hair.

  His hands slid down her arms, sweeping the droplets from her skin. The hard heat of him burned through his wet shirt. All steel male—with unmistakable purpose.

  She managed the first couple of buttons, but he had to do the rest, until she could spread the two halves of cotton and sweep her hands across the hot planes of his chest. Beautiful, hard and hot for her. He saw the look on her face and suddenly tumbled her to the floor, claiming dominance as she’d known he would. The cold tiles were welcome on her burning skin, helping her see straight for one moment of sanity.

  ‘Stop.’

  He lifted his head and looked at her.

  ‘You’re a player, right, Carter?’ she muttered breathlessly. ‘This doesn’t mean anything.’

  He brushed the back of his fingers along her jaw. ‘Not if you don’t want it to.’

  ‘Just fun.’ She rocked, desire making her body move instinctively against his. All she ever had was just a little fun. Nothing more. This had an elemental undertone of something serious that she wanted to eliminate, but the need to have him was beyond necessity now. That big black hole deep inside her had been ripped open and demanded some good feeling to fill it. Like the good feeling she got when kissing Carter.

  And then he did kiss her. She closed her eyes as he moved over her—slowly nibbling across her shoulders, his hands working to peel her tight swimsuit down, exposing her breasts. He kissed down her sternum, down to her stomach and then looked back up at what he’d bared. His hands lifted and he cupped her. She shivered at the touch, insanely sensitive there. He rose swiftly, his mouth hot and wide as his tongue swirled around one nipple.

  She arched violently, pushing her heels down hard on the cool tiles to get her hips higher—hoping he’d just grip them and surge into her. She wanted it to be powerful and fast. She wanted him to be there now.

  But damn him he was slow and toying and touching her all over. His hands slipping into soft parts that she usually held reserved. She tried to guide him back, tried to move her own into dominance—to distract him—but he was focused on his own determined exploration. And it was undoing her completely.

  Her whole body broke into a sweat. It was as if she’d walked into a steam room—suddenly she was so hot, and she couldn’t get any of the burning air into her windpipe. She writhed more beneath him, trying to make him move faster—move over her and take her swiftly. She needed it to be finished, because she couldn’t cope with heat.

  All she wanted was him inside her, riding her, releasing his strength into her. Her mind and body
fixated on that one thing—his possession, his pleasure. Not hers. She got hers from his. That was what she wanted. Not this searing way he was playing with her.

  ‘Carter!’ She gasped as his fingers stroked against the strip of her swimsuit between her legs and then slipped beneath the stretchy material. She twisted, suddenly trying to escape him as the strokes grew impossible to bear.

  She was drowning, drowning, drowning in the intolerable heat. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t control anything. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as the sensations become so strong they scared her.

  He lifted his lips from her damp skin. ‘Relax.’

  How was she supposed to relax? Her toes curled as she flexed every muscle she had, trying to wring the tension from her. But it wouldn’t leave her. Instead it worsened.

  He sucked her nipple into his mouth and slid a single finger inside. The agony was too complete and she jerked violently—away from the source of that frightening intensity. Wrenching herself free from his hold and scooting back on the tiles.

  He swore. ‘Did I hurt you?’ Rising sharply to his knees, his chest heaving, he stared across to where she now sat half a metre away.

  She shook her head, breathing hard and shivering as the sensations still scudded through her. But they were weakening now, becoming manageable.

  ‘Penny?’

  ‘I just needed a second.’ Panting, she moved back towards him. Wanting to get the situation under control. She wanted him under control. And she knew how—to hold him, kiss him, suck him in deep and squeeze him hard.

  Both her mouth and sex were wet with that want. But it was her mouth that wanted first—to lessen his potency. She’d pleasure him enough to make him tolerable for the rest of her, to make him speed up. She wanted him quivering beneath her. She’d be in control again and watch him ride the wave; she wanted to witness the orgasm rippling through him. She wanted to be the source of that pleasure.

  Because that was the pleasure in it for her.

  Silently Carter watched her crawl back towards him. Still he said nothing as she knelt in front of him. But she felt his ragged breath when she ran her hands down his chest. She spread her palms wide on his thighs, and then she narrowed in on her target. Oh, yes, she loved the size of the erection that greeted her. Her fingers twisted, searching for the zip so she could free him. But all of a sudden he grabbed her hands and stopped her.