Walk on the Wild Side Read online

  But Kelsi didn’t want to face the disappointment now she’d done the one thing her mother had warned her about most strongly. Kelsi knew it wasn’t that her mother regretted having her, but that she wanted her to have the freedom and opportunities she’d lost because she’d had an unplanned baby. Kelsi was supposed to do everything she hadn’t, not make the same mistake.

  She figured Jack’s threat was just talk—it didn’t really scare her. What really scared her were the feelings she had for him. Too long in his presence and she lost her ability to say no. It was those mesmerising blue eyes, the charming smile, the made-for-pleasure body. His magnetism overwhelmed her, causing an undeniable, intrinsic reaction. From the marrow of her bones to the softness of her skin, desire rode in every cell—pushing her to get closer to him. But he lived on the edge, to the max, embracing the thrill…and he liked a lot of thrills.

  That was why she didn’t want to see him again. She didn’t want to be hurt by him the way her dad hurt her mother—with infidelities and broken promises. She knew Jack was a playboy—which was fine for a one-night stand, or even a short fling. But he was not for having a family with.

  But her own stupid lust confused her and could only make the situation even more complicated. So she had to avoid him. Maybe in a few months she’d be able to handle seeing him again. Surely when she was the size of a house and horribly uncomfortable she’d be totally over wanting him.

  Jack’s day took a while to improve after his wretched call first thing to Kelsi. He’d hoped she’d have calmed down overnight. He’d tried to, but it had taken him hours to cool off after those last bitter words, but within two seconds of punching her number he was back to viciously angry and threatening things he didn’t even know if he meant. Joint custody? Where the hell had that come from? How did he think it could even work when he was out of the country for half the year? But all he knew was that he wasn’t going to be shut out. She needed his help, whether she liked it or not, and he’d insist she accept it—somehow.

  He made himself breathe through the red-rage moment. Because he knew what was driving her anger, what it was that was turning her into such a damn stubborn fool.

  She was scared. He didn’t blame her. Because so was he.

  This was absolutely the wrong thing to have happened. The timing couldn’t be worse. He had to focus on getting optimum fitness back if he wanted to compete in the next lot of Southern Hemisphere comps—and he wanted to compete. Like most sports, snowboarding was a younger man’s game. If he was going to really pull out something new to take Olympic gold, it had to be now. Hell, he should be in Whistler working on the moves already. So he had to sort this out with Kelsi now.

  Kelsi didn’t trust him. He didn’t blame her for that either. But while she barely knew him, she thought she knew enough to judge him—and that he did have a problem with. Because her judgement was all bad. She’d probably looked him up on Google—didn’t she know not to believe everything that was put up there? The injustice of it burned deep. He meant it when he said he’d support her. He already had a good idea about how to begin.

  As for that lust? Yeah, it was still there. The rock solid hard-on he got every time he so much as thought of her pretty much proved it. But she thought he was some slut—that he had no standards and would sleep with anyone who offered. OK, so he had some fun but he wasn’t completely indiscriminate. More to the point, he liked his lovers—he valued friendship. He didn’t use people like that—he liked to give as much as take. Sure he didn’t—couldn’t—offer commitment, but he did do respect. And it wasn’t as if she hadn’t had a good time with him—he very clearly remembered her screaming for him.

  Truth now was he hadn’t had any for weeks. Four weeks to be exact—since that hot day in the sun. The irony of it all was that she had no idea how badly she’d screwed up his ability to have fun. She wasn’t going to know either. He wasn’t about to tell her how deeply she affected him—not while she had such a sucksville opinion of him. He’d get over this bone-aching want for her all on his own. But while he cursed the weakness that had brought him back to her, he was grateful for it, too. Now he was here to make sure she would be OK.

  He was just going to have to forget the want. Thing was, he was sure she still wanted him, too. For a few, too-short moments, she’d answered the kiss that he never should have taken.

  Yeah, it was too bad for both of them.

  She was right about not complicating their situation even more but, added to that, her physical well-being was paramount—as much as he wanted her, he didn’t want to do anything that might hurt her or the baby. And while he knew sex was OK in pregnancy, he wasn’t going to risk it. No complications—physical or emotional.

  But he did want her to get to know him better and realise she’d misjudged him. He wasn’t going to let her get away with thinking she was the only one who could sort this situation out. He had more to contribute than a couple of chromosomes. Jack never walked away from a challenge—and her trying to deny him had made this so much more of a challenge. And he was damn well going to keep his humour, too—he was all for keeping it fun. That was the whole point of life, wasn’t it?

  He talked to his lawyer for a while—applying the wax to speed up the ride. It was amazing how money could lubricate deals. They got into the building before lunchtime. The other three apartments were untenanted. As soon as he saw that he knew he needed to move immediately. Kelsi was vulnerable. He wasn’t having her stay alone in this big barn in the middle of the city for another night. It wasn’t safe.

  She wasn’t like the other women he’d known: the ones who could throw 920s in the air and laugh about crashing out—strong, survivor types. Kelsi was petite and fragile. And she was carrying his child.

  Shudders thudded down his spine every time he thought of that. He—a man for whom a dare was a delight. For whom nothing was worth doing if there wasn’t some risk involved. For whom the extreme was the pleasure. He was terrified of her being hurt by something supposedly more natural than any of the tricks he pulled. But then he had good reason to worry, and it was reason in itself to keep his mouth shut. She didn’t need anything to freak her out more. Not yet. So long as she saw the best doctor. Team of doctors. Bells, whistles, everything. He’d ensure she was OK, the baby was OK and that they had everything they needed to stay that way.

  His lawyer tried to advise an overnight cool-down period, but his mind was made up. He wanted the paperwork signed and the process under way today. The sooner the place was fixed up, the sooner he could feel halfway to free again.

  Kelsi took the morning off to see her GP but went to work in the afternoon, sporting the rose-coloured contacts again. Anything to keep some positive in her perspective. Thank heavens for her overflowing inbox. Keeping busy was the only way to cope. She’d manage. She could totally manage all this—somehow—and keeping her job was a key element in her managing.

  But when she got back to her home late in the day she saw a big new red Sold sticker slapped across the For Sale sign outside the building. The one she’d been ignoring for weeks now—hoping the building would be on the market for ages yet. Now she was going to have to move? Great.

  She checked her box to see if there was a letter from the rental agency. There wasn’t. She got to the big door and saw it was ajar. Her pulse accelerated when she heard voices coming from inside. She pushed the door wider and walked to the stairs. There were four men at the top talking. One broke from the group and came down towards where she’d frozen, third step up.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ Her pulse just broke the sound barrier with its speed.

  ‘I live here now,’ Jack answered, as if it were nothing.

  ‘What?’ She managed to look past him and saw one of the men busy staring at the walls and writing things on a notebook.

  ‘I’ve bought the building.’

  ‘You’ve what?’

  ‘It was for sale. I bought it.’

  ‘Just like that?’

/>   ‘Cash buyer.’ He suddenly grinned. ‘Can move things fast.’

  She swallowed, trying not to stare, because now his eyes were twinkling and hers were starved for the sight of him. ‘What are you going to do with four flats?’

  ‘I’m reconverting it into the one house.’

  She gripped the banister to stop herself tumbling back down. ‘So you’re evicting me.’

  He laughed and moved a couple more steps down towards her. ‘No.’

  Oh, now he’d got close. Too close.

  ‘I’m converting the other three apartments and keeping yours. When the baby arrives you can move into the big space and when I’m here I’ll go into the flat. That way I’ll be near you both. You can work from home, and I’ll be involved with the baby. It’s the perfect solution.’

  It sounded far from perfect to her. They were going to be under the same roof? He was going to move in and be some kind of flatmate? How was she supposed to get over the raunch feelings then?

  ‘Your rent payments cease immediately.’

  Kelsi put both hands on the banister.

  ‘It’s going to be noisy round here for a while, but I want the conversion done as soon as possible.’ He took another step down so he was only one away from her. ‘The house will be vulnerable with the renovations going on. Can I move you to a hotel for the next few weeks?’

  ‘No. I’m staying here,’ she said firmly. So much was changing in her life. So much was out of her control. And she didn’t want him to suddenly be calling all the shots like this. This was crazy.

  ‘Yeah, I thought you’d say that.’ His lazy smile appeared again. ‘I’ve moved into the one next door.’

  ‘You’ve what?’

  ‘I’m in the flat next to yours.’

  He was going to be through the wall? Now? No way.

  ‘You don’t need to stay here.’ She clamped down on the wayward lick of pleasure curling through her lower belly.

  He lanced her with the brilliant sky-blue stare. ‘Yes, I do.’

  ‘Not because of me.’ She made herself look past him again, but it was pointless—she could feel the magnetism anyway.

  ‘No, I’m sick of hotels. Don’t worry.’ He bent; his words came as a whisper tipped with a suggestion of sin. ‘You won’t even notice I’m here.’

  As if that were possible. He was six feet of raw, rippled man. And, oh, yes, there was that bit of her that liked the idea of him being so close. Masochistic. That was what she was. She pushed past him and raced up the stairs, unlocking her own little flat and locking it behind her again. She sank onto her sofa, her head in her hands—trying to stop the pounding.

  This was all just happening too fast. In less than twenty-four hours her life had been tipped upside down—as if it were a brown paper bag and Jack was the one shaking it to be sure everything had tumbled out and landed all jumbled.

  The voices out in the stairwell lingered for a while; she tried to listen, tried not to listen. Then she heard the big door shut and silence returned.

  Finally, she could relax. She stretched out on the soft cushions, hoping the churning chaos in her head would slow down enough for her to have a snooze. She was shattered and couldn’t be bothered finding anything to eat, too wobbly to talk to anyone—certainly not her mum—and too tired to even cry. She closed her eyes and tried to let it all go, willing the blackness to come swallow her.

  The knock on her door chased it away as adrenaline surged. It could be only one person. Only one other person now had a key to get into the building.

  She opened the door a fraction, hiding her body behind the heavy wood. He had a way-too-sheepish smile on.

  ‘The oven in my flat isn’t working and the power isn’t on in the flats downstairs. Do you mind if I use yours?’

  ‘You want to use my oven?’

  ‘I missed lunch.’ He lifted the grocery bag in his hand. ‘I’m keen for an early dinner.’

  ‘You’re going to cook?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  She was too tired to argue, just opened the door wide and shuffled back to flop on the sofa. He shut the door and gave her a keen look. She closed her eyes.

  ‘You haven’t had any coffee, have you?’ he said.

  None all day. She had the headache to prove it. She didn’t think caffeine was all that good for the baby. But the first-day withdrawal? It was as if she’d just come down with narcolepsy. ‘I just need a rest for a minute.’

  He could do what he liked in the kitchen. For a while she listened to the sounds as he did. For a while she tried not to fixate. Impossible. And the dreams were nice—why block them? Why shouldn’t she let her mind think on that beautiful body and that beautiful smile, just for a few minutes?

  ‘Kelsi.’

  She opened her eyes—stared straight into Jack’s. His bronzed, charming face hovered inches from hers—just like in her dreams.

  ‘I have enough to share if you’re interested,’ he said, all warm, easy encouragement.

  If she was interested? Oh, she was so interested—what was he offering, exactly? She gazed at him—the slightly unruly hair that hung over his forehead, the angular jaw that had faint, late afternoon stubble, the creases at the corners of his eyes as he smiled. But then the smile faded.

  ‘Kelsi.’ Firmer that time, almost brusque.

  She blinked. Slowly the fog in her mind cleared and the rest of her senses switched on. Her mouth watered. ‘Something smells good.’ She inhaled deep and sat up. ‘Something smells really good.’

  ‘Come and see.’

  She shook the swimming sensation from her head and followed him to the dining table where the cutlery was set and two plates already in position.

  She stared at their contents.

  A beautifully cooked prime cut of steak. New potatoes on the side, and in the centre of the table, a bowl of fresh salad with all those extra yummy bits like toasted pine nuts and sliced avocado.

  ‘It’s nothing fancy,’ he said, sitting down.

  It was a lot more fancy than the packet of instant pasta she usually went for. ‘You didn’t have to do this.’

  ‘I don’t like to starve and making enough for you is the least I can do given I just made a mess of your kitchen.’

  She glanced through the doorway and he laughed.

  ‘Already tidied it. Figured you wouldn’t let me back if I didn’t.’

  She sat down next to him, tried to steer herself back in the right direction—the independent one. ‘But you’ll get the oven in your own flat fixed, right?’

  ‘Mmm.’ His forking some food in muffled his answer.

  She didn’t bother with talking either after she took her first bite. This was too good to leave to waste. She’d had no idea she was so hungry. She’d had no idea Jack could cook like this.

  ‘Lots of good stuff here.’ He finally broke the silence, nodding towards their three-quarter-empty plates. ‘But you should see a doctor. You need to be taking some vitamins. Folic acid and stuff.’

  ‘I didn’t know you were a walking baby and birth encyclopaedia.’ She took a sip of the glass of orange juice, trying to cool her rising temper.

  ‘I did some research. This is the only child I’ll ever have, I thought I’d better get clued up.’

  ‘I’m the one having this child, Jack.’

  ‘But we’ve already established that I’ll be there for it.’ He grinned, refusing to let her have the last word. ‘Starting now.’

  She gripped her knife a bit tighter. ‘Well, you don’t need to worry. I went to the doctor this morning. I have the vitamins and all the information I need.’

  ‘Who’s the doctor? A specialist, right?’

  Kelsi looked at him, surprised by the insistence in his tone. ‘Just my normal doctor. I’ll arrange a midwife in a few weeks.’

  ‘And a specialist. You should have a specialist.’

  A midwife wasn’t a specialist? What did he want—a whole team of ob-gyns and technicians? Kelsi swallowed hard on the last
bit of steak that had decided to wedge in the back of her throat. She wasn’t going to start a fight—not tonight. Not until she had the sleep she so desperately needed. ‘I’ll make arrangements.’

  ‘You don’t think you need to ease back on your workload?’

  ‘No.’ The urge to argue was harder to suppress now. ‘I’m pregnant, Jack. Not sick.’

  He sliced his steak with vicious jabs of his knife.

  ‘You don’t have to do this with the house.’ OK, she couldn’t not pick a fight now.

  ‘Yes, I do. You need a home and you like it here. But it’s not like you could have bought it yourself.’

  No, but in a few years she could have bought a little place somewhere.

  ‘You’re never going to have to worry about money, Kelsi, please understand that.’

  She put her cutlery down—suddenly feeling as if her stomach was over-full.

  ‘You can trust me.’ He practically ground the words out. ‘You know what? I trust you. I trust you to take care of yourself and our baby.’

  ‘I have no choice but to do that.’

  ‘I know. And I have no choice but to try to help you as best I can. I will ensure you and the baby are secure.’

  But she didn’t want to be reliant on him. She didn’t want to become too dependant on him only for that support to be whipped away—and it would be. It always was.

  ‘I’m sorry if accepting my help dents your pride.’ He didn’t sound sorry at all.

  Besides, it wasn’t her pride getting the battering. It was that thing thumping in her chest. She had to protect it better and knowing more about him might help—like more about his incompatible lifestyle. ‘How come you don’t have your own apartment to live in?’

  Jack stabbed the last bit of his steak. ‘I’m never in one place for that long.’

  He didn’t taste the meat as he forked it in. He just wanted to eat and get out of there. Doing the domestic thing wasn’t helping him any. Being this near to her strung his nerves tighter across the wires of want—and he was so close to giving in to it. But he’d known she wouldn’t be up to cooking anything—she looked even paler than usual. Tired. Beautiful.